"Truth" in Advertising?

I'm finding the apartment search a bit easier than last winter--at least in the respect of searching the ads and watching out for "For Rent" signs.  I'm a little more savvy at recognizing the scams.  And there are a lot of those!


The most prevalent scam is where the person posts an ad that seems to be a great deal.  Like a 2 bedroom duplex in Naperville for $600 a month.  Pets welcome!  So you send an email to them and find out that they had to leave the country because they're a doctor with UNICEF or a missionary or a teacher.  Many of them say they're in Lagos.

Lagos, Nigeria

I had to look it up because I thought Lagos was a city in Texas. Oops!

Anyway, they say they didn't have anyone to leave the keys with, so they have them with them.  All I have to do is send them the first month's rent and the security deposit (equal to the first month's rent) and they will mail the keys to me.  Uh huh.  And I'm the third cousin, twice removed to the Queen of England.  And as the robot said "Danger, Will Robinson!"

I wonder how many people actually fall for it, though.  Probably very few, but I still feel sorry for the any schmuck who gets caught up in the excitement and sends a money order as requested.  (No checks, please.  Of course, because you can stop payment on a check!)

I know at least one person who might've fallen for it.  At least many years ago.  He was always a bit slow. After forty some years he's been taken to the cleaners so many times he finally learned to ask other people before making decisions.  While I have no real fondness for this person that I know, I would still feel badly that someone took him for $1200 or whatever. And while he is in the minority, there are other people like him out there.  They are too trusting, too naive or too stupid to know better.

Another problem I've found in searching the ads is what I call the Carrot Ruse.  The landlord places an ad that screams NEAR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION! NEWER APPLIANCES!! PETS WELCOME!!!  You notice how each successive statement gets an additional exclamation point.  No rent amount is listed anywhere.  "Near public transportation" means that the train is so close you can see the whites of the passengers eyes and the horn will make your ears ring for an hour.  "Newer appliances" mean post-1960.  "Pets welcome" means you will pay an extra amount each month plus a non-refundable pet security deposit.

Then there are a lot of little things like the misspellings, which can be amusing or confusing: "Well Maintianed", "Newly Remodled" and my favorite "Just steps to Lack Michigan!"

There are the ads that leave you wondering what it is, exactly, that they are advertising:  $589 / 1br - Want a 9th life? - (Contact JUngle JAne).   Really? A "9th life"?  And in a jungle?

Some ads need to be more specific with their adjectives: $755 / 1br - Eviction? Bad credit? 
THAT'S OUR SPECIALTY - (chicago & burbs) I don't want to be evicted and I sure as heck don't want to rent from someone with bad credit!

Then there are the euphemisms.  "Garden" apartment means you are in the basement with those tiny windows that let you see people's feet walking by.  "Cozy" means you'll have to lay on your bed to open your dresser drawers. "Rehabbed" means that the last tenant had a dog that chewed up the rug and scratched up the doors.  "Worth the Price" means it's so expensive you'll have to have a six-digit annual salary to live there.  "Rent Just Reduced" means the place is such a dump that nobody wants to live there and/or the landlord is a jerk. "Close to Everything" means you will have a constant barrage of noise from the businesses next door and the car and foot traffic going by.

But I'm learning to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.  I've got a couple of leads on what I hope are nice apartments.  Tomorrow I go to see one in Lemont.  The exterior looks like a cement block, but maybe inside it's a gem!

Appreciation--The Most Important Part

I've realized that hard water, laundromats or slanted floors don't mean a bloody thing if many of the most important people in your life aren't there to encourage, to praise, to help, to commiserate, to listen...

So I had to use a dozen shims and several small blocks of wood to level my appliances and dressers.  Who cares?  My friends chuckle and my sister helped.  I love them so much!  Even my sister-in-law (whom I've know since I was 7 years old) finally came and saw my place and all the work and decorating I did here in this apartment.  My brother hasn't, but, eh, I'm learning not to care so much, since he doesn't care about me.  It's a work in progress.

My daughter has been here once.  Two days after the movers brought all the furniture and boxes.  One day after my sister and I painted my bedroom.  There were boxes, shelving and furniture everywhere.  I've asked her to come.  I've come close to begging, but I haven't sunk that far--yet.

Now I already have some books packed up, but you can still see all the decorating I've done.  Last month, I drove to Summit to see her and her cat, Bebe.  We had a great day.  She bought me an outfit at Target.  But that isn't what made the day so great.  It was the one-on-one time.  The sharing of time, current events and plans.

It's the people I miss the most.  No, the beings.  I miss Jessicat, who had to be put down the week after Christmas.  I miss Emmy, who my sister helped find a home for before Christmas.  I miss my daughter, who is just too busy to come and see what her mother put so much time and effort into.  I miss her cat, Bebe, who spent so much time with me for six years.  And I miss my mom, big-time.

I hate talking on the phone.  But I miss being able to call my mom to share something funny that the cats did.  Or to tell her about the new book releases that she would be interested in.  I'd like to tell her that I love her one more time.  I'd like to make tea for us and sit with her and talk.

The thing is, having the people I love come, show an interest, and show they care about me, helps me deal with the grief.  I spent the first six months after my mom died being busy and physically active.  Once all the work, calls, searching, moving, painting, decorating and projects were done, my grief rose up and said "Time to deal with ME!"

I can't do it alone.  I saw my psychiatrist last Saturday.  He wants me to get a therapist again.  Fine by me.  Except I can't afford the $40 per session it would cost.  At least, not at the moment.  And then I have to spend at least one session bringing this person up-to-date on everything that has happened.

My sister can't stand people crying or being depressed.  She seems to think it's a weakness to let others see you when you're not upbeat and happy.  She accepts anger much more easily than sadness.  My friends listen, but they have crap going on in their lives, too.  Mostly, all three of my closest friends have spouses.  I realize that marriage takes work and that needs to be their primary focus.  But they do help and I appreciate that so much!

My advice to everyone is don't take the people you love for granted!  All of a sudden, they'll be gone.