The Joys of Ratcheting

Whoever invented the ratchet wrench, or even better, the whole principle of ratcheting, is a genius!  He should be up there with Einstein, Edison and Bell.

Last week, the Chicago metropolitan area had Indian Summer.  Beautiful, mild weather that just called me outside.  And to the overhang over the backyard door.  The one with a dozen wasps nests decorating the underside with their clusters of hexagonal cells.  The wasps, thank goodness, are gone for the year.

After the first frost, I was planning my attack on that overhang.  I went outside to see if the wasps were gone.  It had been a light frost, so I wasn't sure.  I didn't see any wasps.  I took my straw broom and whacked it on the edge of the overhang.  A couple of drunken-looking wasps staggered in the air.  Okay, so no.  They were not totally gone.  And I was not about to dismantle the overhang with even one nearly-dead wasp anywhere near it.  So I waited.  A couple of weeks later, we had a second frost.  Not a heavy frost, but a bit more than the first one.  I banged on that stupid overhang several times, but no wasps appeared.  Great!  Time to go to work.

Locking Pliers

I grabbed screwdrivers (I'm still missing most of my Phillip's head screwdrivers) and, what I thought at the time, wrenches.  I got to work removing the nuts and bolts.    

Water Pump Pliers

I had to use two "wrenches" to remove most of them.  One to hold the bolt in place and the other to turn the nut.  This worked fairly well for the exposed areas, where I could maneuver the tools. I discovered the actual names of the tools I was using--two different types of pliers (see pictures).

They were all very rusty and difficult to loosen.  It never occurred to me to use a spray lubricant (of which we have several) or even a liquid lubricant (again, several available).  As I got to the places nearer the ground, the rust is much worse.  And it's harder to access them, especially using the wrong tools!  After scraping my knuckles on the patio cement for the fifth time, I remembered something called a ratchet wrench.  You can turn it in one direction and it catches on the nut or bolt, but when you turn it the opposite way, it slips.  So I could remove the nuts and bolts without removing the wrench from its position.  I remembered seeing these wondrous inventions in the big (mostly empty) tool chest in the garage.  *sigh*  The garage.  That obstacle course of lawn and home equipment, tools, storage, Christmas decor and hundreds of other (mostly useless) items that still muddle the floor.

I am proud to say that I had the forethought to bring a nut and a bolt with me to the garage to find the right size wrench!  Yay, me!  Otherwise I would've been either running back and forth with wrenches, or bringing the whole set of wrenches to the backyard.  It's the little things, you know.  I found the correct size on the second try.

Ratchet Wrench or Socket Wrench

I still didn't think of a lubricant to help remove the rusted nuts and bolts, but armed with my trusty ratchet wrench, I was able to loosen them anyway.  I used leverage.  With the wrench firmly in place on the nut, and the locking pliers keeping the bolt from turning, I simply used my not-inconsiderable weight to loosen the blasted things!  You have to use what you're given, I always say.  Well, I don't always say that.  Sometimes . . . okay, this is the first time.  Whatever.  It worked.

But the overhang is not down yet!  There is a screw (not a bolt) holding a crossbeam to a support post (look at me, with all the correct lingo!) that I cannot budge.  Between rust and old, swollen wood, it's stuck tight.

No worries.  I've got a circular saw!    I'm just going to cut through the post and knock the bugger down!

There is one other problem.  Make that three problems.  But they're the same.  Problem, that is.  The roof of the overhang is attached by these big ol' jakey hook bolts to these ginormous eye bolts.  And someone decided to squeeze the hook bolts almost closed.  I've got to try to loosen the eye bolts, or the whole dang thing is going to rip the siding off the house!  It's tempting, but no.  I don't want to rip the siding off.  We'd have to hire someone to fix it.  I've removed the nuts and washers from the hook bolts, so they should turn when I turn the eye bolts.  There are probably ratcheting pliers out there, but I don't have them.  I don't think.  Hmmm.  It might be worth looking around the garage a bit more.  I can only search the garage during daylight--preferable a sunny day.  The lights in the garage don't work.  I tried to replace the flourescent bulb in one fixture, but nothing happened.  But I digress.

Tomorrow is supposed to be decent weather.  I will again tackle this overhang!  Hopefully, it'll be down by afternoon.  I'll try to remember to take pictures.  Prayers for my safety are greatly appreciated!